funny wedding defination
Bachelor: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.
Bachelor: A selfish guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
Bachelor: The only man who has never told his wife a lie.Bachelor: A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.
Bachelor: A man who every morning comes to work from a different direction.
Bachelor: A man who never made the same mistake once.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Cad: A man who doesn't tell his wife that he's sterile until she's pregnant.
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat.
Grand Slam Event: The honeymoon.
Housework: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn't do it.
Husband: A man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping.
Husband: A man who stands by his wife in troubles she'd never have had if she didn't marry him.
Joint Checking Account: A handy little device which permits your wife to beat you to the draw.
Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.
Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
Mrs.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.
Nuns: Women who marry god. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe?
Old Maid: A critical reflection on every bachelor.
Sex drive: A physical craving that begins in adolescence and ends at marriage.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
Spinster: A bachelor's wife.
Spouse: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place.
Visionary: Marrying a man with intentions of changing and reforming him.
Wedding Ring: The world's smallest handcuffs.
Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs.
Widow: A woman who can find no fault with her husband.
Widowhood: The only compensation some women get out of a marriage.
